Welcome to neosoulmama.info, home of the My Successful Child newsletter. If you are unfamiliar to this site, let me introduce myself. I am a mother of three, run my own natural bath/body business and have had over 10 years of experience in urban education. I also hold a Master’s degree in education. My specialty is K-8 mathematics, however, given my experience and extensive research and training in the field of education, as well as my on the job training as a mom (smile), I am a tremendous resource in the field of education.

How do you create a successful child? Is it Kumon, Sylvan or other tutoring type programs? Certainly these programs can assist a child who is struggling academically, but in order to truly create a child who enjoys school and who understands that you appreciate their hard work and effort, communication and involvement is a must.

A successful child:
• Asks questions – A child who asks questions shows a curiosity about the world around him/her. Granted, with three children, I get a lot of questions during the day and to be honest, I don’t answer all of them all the time. However, I do make the effort to answer most of them. Answering your child’s questions is a way to open communication between the two of you and an informal way of learning.

• Is in an atmosphere of informal learning – A lot can be learned from a simple trip to the grocery store. It’s where my children learned that those pigs and chickens that they saw on the television could be turned into tasty morsels of pork chops and grilled chicken. They also learned the mechanics of grocery shopping (i.e. pay the money, pack the bags) and that there are people who work at the grocery store. Of course, the counting and simple mathematics were at work here too.

• Has role models – Are you willing to learn along with your child? I think one of my successes as a teacher came from admitting that I didn’t know everything. If your child asks you a question that you don’t know, then explore the answer together. This shows your child that everyone is a lifelong learner.

• Has rules – A child, well, everyone in fact, needs boundaries. A child should not be left to his/her own devices and allowed to do anything s/he wants. Children need boundaries and feel more comfortable when limits are set by parents and guardians.

• Follows a family routine – A child feels useful and a part of the family when s/he is encouraged to participate in family chores. Teach them young and form good habits that will last.

Although a few of these tips do not directly deal with school, these habits will engrain self-respect and discipline that will have an influence on how they perform in school and in life.

Please add your comments/ reactions to these tips. And remember to sign up for my mailing list and receive weekly tips!

Let me first state, before I get started: there is still racism. However, although there is racism present in the world today, there are also more opportunities for blacks (or if you prefer, African Americans) than there were when Martin spoke about the mountaintop and Malcolm went to Mecca. So then why are some Black folks still standing on a street corner talking about how they can’t get a job because “The Man” is keeping them down.

Look, I was in the classroom. I know what some of these children and parents go through on a daily basis. I am not denying the oppressiveness of poverty. When you are working two jobs and barely making ends meet, shoot, that’s a reason to want to “holler”. Because being a part of the working poor can be detrimental to the spirit, many of these parents take the time (in between working the double shifts) to impress upon their children that this is not a life to plan for. Get your education, get your high school diploma, listen to the teacher, DON’T MAKE ME TAKE MY LUNCH BREAK TO COME UP TO THAT SCHOOL!! And as a teacher, I bow respectfully to those parents. They are working HARD so their children won’t have to work as hard as they did.

Now, the next set of parents who seem to revel on the welfare roles. You’ve all seen them: designer outfits, matching Coach bags and shoes, getting their money from the state and who-knows-where-else, but rest assured that it’s cash money, baby. What are their children learning from them? That you can chill at home, with satellite, watching movies and video all day and not have to work? Well, shoot, then why should they bother doing their homework when their favorite show is on? Mom, Dad, Uncle, Auntie didn’t finish high school, don’t have a job, and look – they relax all day.

Where in the world is the disconnect? What makes some working poor/poor families encourage others to succeed and others to fall by the wayside? Is it racism? Is it attitude? Is it societal influences? Is it the schools? Am I crazy?

Please post any and all comments you may have!