Although this is not specifically a black children issue, rather an issue about our children in general, I am still going to address this new and disturbing phenomenon in this blog. Have you ever seen the show “My Super Sweet Sixteen”? I had the misfortune of catching a portion of this show and was horrified that a father was taking his son to an exotic dancing club to interview/audition the ladies to dance at his sixteenth birthday party. What struck me was that the boy, although he was attempting to be sophisticated and worldly, made a comment that so clearly communicated how naïve he really was. After the girl had finished doing her “dance” for him, he remarks, “I chose her because she seemed like she had a really great personality.” Ok, little dude, hold up. Wake up and smell the money, honey. You think by twitching her booty in your and your dad’s face that she is trying to convey her winning personality? Come on. And shame on you dad – you think that this is ok?
Why is it that our televisions are constantly giving us (and our children) the message that being child is not ok? Please don’t read this wrong, I do understand that our society is different that it was when I was a child, but do, someone please tell me, what has happened to childhood? Our children and our especially our young ladies, are being taught that puberty begins at 9. Let’s take a look a few examples.
Clothing: In my year working with students from 5th to 8th grade, I have noticed the progression in the sexualization of children’s clothes. Fifth grade girls were wearing pants with “juicy” or “star” or “cutie” across the top of their pre-teen behinds. Middle school girls wore tank tops and/ or low cut tight shirts with low riding jeans that left very little to the middle school boys’ imagination when they sat down. And more than one girl younger than 13 had a thong popping out of the top of her waistband. Let’s not even talk about the tiny skirts, the leggings…..and we’ve all seen the “ghetto prom” pictures where our daughters looked like bad versions of streetwalkers. Face it, many of our girls dress like extras in Sweet Charity (look it up).
Personal Grooming: They have press on nails with stars and kittens on them in the mass market retail stores. Hmmmmm. Obviously, they are not marketing to me, so they must be marketing to …..little girls! Who else would get excited about pink nails with kittens or hearts on them? I’ve seen 10 year old girls with acrylic nails done salon-perfect. I’ve heard parents say they are going to treat their 11 year old daughters to a manicure and a pedicure for their birthday. I’ve seen parties at the mall with girls no more than 8 or 9 years old with lipstick, glitter eye makeup, tiaras and feather boas gathering for pizza at the food court. Why is it necessary to introduce our daughters to makeup at such young age? I’m not talking about playing in mommy’s makeup or swiping your older sister’s lipstick (and ruining it), I’m talking about deliberate, targeted marketing toward our girls to become preoccupied with appearance at an early age. How young is too young?
One thing that I did notice about the girls who dressed “cute” and “sexy” was that often they seemed uncomfortable in their clothes. They were constantly tugging and pulling at their clothes – as if they themselves realized that their clothing was inappropriate and wanted to cover up themselves more. Which brings me to the conclusion – since they can’t drive themselves to the store, nor do they have the money to purchase their own clothes, then it must be the parents who are purchasing these clothes. So parents, please, be strong. Don’t sell our daughters out to blatant consumerism and narcissistic pursuits. Let them be children. Let them be little girls. Allow them to get dirty and wear ripped shorts. There is more than enough time for them to get their nails done, wear high heels and put on a sexy outfit. Let our girls be girls, because believe me, they grow up too soon as it is!
